Blogland Lane Logo by our own Tessa Edwards

Friday, September 18, 2009

Employment Community Noticeboard

Chocolate Taster
Mature person required to sample a large range of calorie free Belgian chocolate and advise direction on possible new flavours. Guaranteed no weight gain.

Mattress Tester
Must be prepared to lie down on the job, jump on the bed and to work nights.

Cup Cake Decorator
Nice person with clean hands required to place candy flowers and silver balls on cupcakes. Should have an eye for detail and artistic flair.

Fashionista required to name Spring Nail Colour and Lipstick collection. Hues range from chocolates through to perfect pinks. Must be unusual names highlight their point of difference.

Spa Quality Controller . .required to have a hot spa five days a week and compare jet strength and quality, bubblicity and temperature.

Sommallier to taste premium range of Champagnes, Cabernet Sauvignon, Sauvignon Blanc and Chardonnay's. No bottle should remain unopened. No cask drinkers need apply.

Shopping Cart Wrangler. Requires firm hand to round up and return errant shopping carts. Firm but friendly.

Hammock Test Driver - larger person needed to test luxury hammock. Assistance provided to position you correctly. Extended periods of reading, swaying and snoozing required.

Knob Polisher . . Upstanding and fastidious person to ensure doorknobs, bedknobs and cupboard knobs are spic and span. Must have own polishing cloth and no jokes about men.


  1. can I sign up to interview hunky guys for the chocolate job?

  2. Hahaha... that are the really good jobs! I have found the absolutely right person for the job of testing little bells which hang on cats collars to warn the birds.

  3. I'll test the hammocks - sounds like hard work, though.

  4. What possible jokes could a knob polisher have about men? ;)

  5. I'll take the shopping cart wrangler. I need the exercise. Oh heck! Get SERIOUS Annie. LOL

  6. i'm the spa quality controller. but does it pay extra when my skin gets over-pruned? just wondering.

    and lipstick and nail colors. if i weren't so tired right now, i would definitely want this job too. i know i have to show i have the skills for it, so maybe after i rest i can come up with some colors.

    baino, did you make this stuff up? because it is hilarious. you run a damn good employment agency!

  7. you write comedy. honest to god, this is HILARIOUS! write more, baino. keep them coming. it's your employment agency!

    ps xoxo

  8. I'm not polishing, that's for sure.
    Better watch the language here, we'll get banned. Thank God you made it clear what kind of kn*** the job covers.
    I'll go for the sommallier, but I'm afraid that I don't have the qualification and I'm a poor taster as far as champagne goes. Far from my speciality.

  9. These jobs better be well-paid, because they sound really grueling.