Friday, September 18, 2009
Employment Community Noticeboard
Mature person required to sample a large range of calorie free Belgian chocolate and advise direction on possible new flavours. Guaranteed no weight gain.
Must be prepared to lie down on the job, jump on the bed and to work nights.
Cup Cake Decorator
Nice person with clean hands required to place candy flowers and silver balls on cupcakes. Should have an eye for detail and artistic flair.
Fashionista required to name Spring Nail Colour and Lipstick collection. Hues range from chocolates through to perfect pinks. Must be unusual names highlight their point of difference.
Spa Quality Controller . .required to have a hot spa five days a week and compare jet strength and quality, bubblicity and temperature.
Sommallier to taste premium range of Champagnes, Cabernet Sauvignon, Sauvignon Blanc and Chardonnay's. No bottle should remain unopened. No cask drinkers need apply.
Shopping Cart Wrangler. Requires firm hand to round up and return errant shopping carts. Firm but friendly.
Hammock Test Driver - larger person needed to test luxury hammock. Assistance provided to position you correctly. Extended periods of reading, swaying and snoozing required.
Knob Polisher . . Upstanding and fastidious person to ensure doorknobs, bedknobs and cupboard knobs are spic and span. Must have own polishing cloth and no jokes about men.
Posted by Baino at 10:49 PM