The State of Maine

A freeze is coming. I can tell. When my left knee is dialing the chemist's for prescription refill all on its own, it's time to break out the long underwear.

Not for me, of course. I have my own personal summer to keep me warm. For my partner, the one with three percent body fat. Eventually, I know she'll be tired of sleeping in hat and mittens.

A little hot tea, a little cuddle with the human furnace, and all is well again.

"Jennie? are you almost ready? We really should have left ten minutes ago. And it's yourfamily after all..."

No answer, but I can hear the hangers sliding back and forth in the closet. Best not to interrupt, even though I know I'm the one who will get the over-the-spectacles glances from her father for making us late.

Outside the gray sky is low enough to touch. I hear a drip-drop-drip every few minutes as the last of this morning's rain finds its zig-zag way to the downspouts. Night rain is better. That sound is so soothing for falling asleep. Better than Ambien.

"Jennie! Any time soon?" I venture again.

Silence for a moment, I know she is rolling her eyes at me, then, "You're not hel-ping..." she sing-songs, "and relax, we won't be late, I promise. Don't we always make it on time?"

She's right, of course, but I'm driving.

And I hate family weddings. I have to spend so much time being...nice. An unnatural state for me. Not that I am mean. I don't think I am, anyway, just bristly. Prickly. Walking through the world with my elbows out. Here in Maine, that's not really so unusual. If you've never heard this before, take my word: Never ask a Maine native for directions. Oh, we'll give them to you, all right, and they may even get you where you are going. But if they do, it's probably by accident. Really, I belong here.

So, the wedding. When it's family, it's supposed to be different. God help me, I do love these people, it's just that I'd rather spend my time with Jennie...or nobody. Small talk has never been my forte, and I am reliably informed that I do a piss-poor job at it. If this were a celebration for friends, or acquaintances, we could make an appearance, then get the hell out of there.

Today, the wedding is Jennie's baby brother, David's, and since I actually kinda like the guy, I have decided to be on my best behavior. Whatever that is. I'm pretty sure it doesn't start out with me nagging Jennie to get it in gear so we can go. Anyway, she's right, we'll be there in plenty of time. Hey, I should be grateful, right? If we had left when I was ready, that would be fifteen more minutes meaningless conversation to smile through. Things are looking up already.